Pretty neat video

I've been asked many times about the sub-prime mortgage problem and the overall credit crisis. Maybe these people thought that I worked for a law firm specialize in real estate law that I should know everything about it. I've never really have a good answer because, well I'm a fraud and I don't know shit. Until now. I found this pretty good video on stox and voila here we go:

The Crisis of Credit Visualized from Jonathan Jarvis on Vimeo.

Fuck you Eli

Grats on the step 6 win. Now go win the wsop ME so you can stake me for long term 5/10 action.

Had the mother of all heaters today. up 10 bi in 2k hands. All sets got paid lol and a flat redline.

Dizziness......

Don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I still feel the dizziness from 2 days ago. Not as bad now but it's still there. At least I can eat and not feel like throwing up anymore. I'm sure the alcohol consumption in the last few days didn't help much either.

Haven't been playing much at all. Been running bad after running like god for awhile. All the shit that worked before for 30k hands now all of a sudden don't work anymore lol. There are still plenty of shit that I really need to work on but just can't seem to get the energy to do it. I've played about 50k hands so far this month with a win rate of 3+BB. Hopefully I can get in a few more hands before the month is over. I think I have about 2 more months before I hit supernova. Unless I hit a heater and move up soon. There's probably gonna be some kind of instant cash bonus thing instead of the 4k bonus that you have to clear. We'll see.

Changes

No, it's not the 2pac song I'm talking about here although i kinda like that song.

I did something I haven't done in awhile. I said yesterday that I depend too much on just a couple of people for my social needs. I started to do something to change that. I asked this friend out today. We had dinner and went on to a nice place to have a few drinks and I met more people. We had some nice conversation and good arguments and it was a good night.

It's amazing how this could be a big deal in my life. I never imagined myself to be so socially inept but hopefully things will change.

Something interesting happened. We were talking about friendship, relationship, marriage etc and this guy took out a rm10 bill and asked around the table 'I'll give you this rm10 bill if you give me a rm5 bill.' Most of us were just looking at him and wondering what he's up to. For whatever reason I took out a rm5 bill and switched with him. Maybe it's the poker player in me that decided that this is a +EV decision.

Then he said that most people, when confronted with that proposition, would start thinking 'what's the catch here? why would you do something like that? there's gotta be something else involved here.' And after you spend too much time trying to decide and think about the problem most likely by the time you decide to do it, someone else would surely have beaten you to the deal. What's the point of this little story? I guess next time when you see an opportunity, take it. Think fast, just fucking do it. Don't spend too much time thinking about the inconsequential shit. You see a girl you like? go for it. You see a shirt you like? fucking buy that shit. You feel like telling your mom you love her? just say it. Don't wait. You never know what's around the corner. Just fucking do it. And i made 5 bucks.

I also did something stupid for someone with suspected food poisoning. I ate sushi and drank beer. I am smart.

Food poisoning

I think I have food poisoning. I woke up this morning with extreme dizziness that came out of nowhere. I feel like puking and I didn't drink last night. I fucking hate being sick. I feel so helpless.

Anyway, it's been awhile since I last updated my blog. Not much poker content lately because I just can't find anything interesting from my sessions anymore. After you play for hundreds of thousands of hands it seems like nothing is interesting anymore. I feel like I've seen them all and it's just the matter of improving myself and see where this thing leads me.

Which brings me to my next point. I'm not sure I'll ever be happy playing poker, no matter how much money I make. Ok, maybe when I start making a dollar a hand I'll have a lot more time for other things in my life but at this point of my poker 'career' I'm just not happy at all. I find myself restricted to be in front of my computer all the time, I don't meet new people, I barely have any friends and because of the nature of this 'job', I get lazy a lot. Last night a lot of friends came over my house to visit us and we had a great time. However, half way through the night I wanted to just get up and get in front of my computer and check email and watch Ted talks and other stuff. It hit me right there. I got friends over and I'm thinking about leaving them in the living room and go spend the rest of my time in front of my computer?

I find myself relying too much on just a couple of people in my life for my social needs. When I don't get calls I feel left out. When I get calls I drop everything I do and get out of the door in record time. I have never had so much desire to meet new people but I keep having the excuse of 'not having enough time away from work'. The trouble is, on the rare occasions when I meet new people, I don't have an answer to them when they ask me what I do for a living. I don't mind telling them I play poker for a living but since nobody knows what poker is around here, I have to explain every time. I don't mind the misconceptions that come associated with poker playing. They can think of me in whatever way they want, I don't care. I just hate to explain to them the whys or hows of what I do for a living. This is not me. I've always been pretty good with people I think. I have never had much in quantities in terms of people I know but I've always been able to make it up with qualities. I've always had the good fortune of having great friends. I still do but I just feel a little alone now, but not lonely though. Don't know if i make sense there.

None of this are by no means unsolvable. I need to arrange my time better. Need to be more active in my social life and I'll be fine. In another word, I need to be less lazy. I need to get off my ass to do something about these problems. I'm smart enough to deal with that, I think.

I guess the main point of this post is to warn everyone who's thinking about doing this more seriously. There are side effects. The money is pretty decent and the upside is great, but the side effects may not be as easy to handle as you think. The immense pressure, the constant need to improve, the solitary world you live in and the lack of human interaction are all that you have to deal with. Just make sure you'll have enough balance in your life that you will be able to deal with them efficiently.

Step 6 wsop ticket

I don't think I mentioned this before but I had a chance to play for the Step 6 wsop package that's worth 12k usd. I started with a $7.50 step 1 and went all the way to step 6 and I chose to play a 6 man sng and busted out 3rd or something. My TT lost to 88.

I wish I could sell the ticket though. It's $2100 and I much rather take the cash than play a winner takes all sng. But steps tickets are not worth any cash value, so I had to play. Anyway, just felt like sharing. I'm playing steps again after I swore that I'll never play another one of these lol. I got a step 3 ticket now. Who knows, maybe I'll get another crack at it.

Funniest hand of the day.

MP1: $52.35 (104.7 bb)
MP2: $24.90 (49.8 bb)
MP3: $30 (60 bb)
CO: $51.40 (102.8 bb)
BTN: $76.15 (152.3 bb)
SB: $50 (100 bb)
Hero (BB): $50 (100 bb)

Pre-Flop: Hero is BB with 3 7
MP1 raises to $50, 2 folds, CO calls $50, 3 folds

Flop: ($100.75) 5 T 6 (2 players)
MP1 bets $2.35 and is all-in, CO folds

Results: $100.75 pot ($3 rake)
MP1 mucked and won $97.75 ($47.75 net)

Useless update

The last few days has been good. My win rate is up to 4.4BB now. I'm running ok and I feel like I'm playing better in a lot of different spots. Now that I have more time to think about each decision I start to see things that I didn't have time to see before. The extra 8 seconds allow me to read hands a little better. I go with my reads and act on them a whole lot more now. I'm less fit or fold now. Overall my redline is getting a little more on the horizontal movement instead of fallin almost straight down like before.

Or maybe I'm just running good. Having the right hands at the right time. We'll see after the month is over.

My dream house
I can't stop thinking about that house. It's about 400k and the way it's designed, not much renovation is needed except some interior stuff. Chances are I won't be able to get the loan for it but it's nice to dream a little.

Less tables

I've been trying to play only 12-14 tables so I have more time on post flop decisions and it seems to be working fine for me so far. Not too many hands obv but I've been running and playing good, I think.

Only 20k hands so far with a win rate of 3.82BB. Been kinda slacking off. Doesn't matter, I'm gonna be playing for 10 hours a day from now on for as long as I can.

Personally, there's absolutely nothing going on in my life now. I went to look at some more houses last week and all it does is making me feel worse. There's no way I can afford those houses I want if I don't work harder.

April

So here are the numbers to my April result. Nothing great. Just grind and grind and grind. I earned about 24k+ in vpp so that's another 1k or so.

As you already know, me and Eli canceled the prop. I pretty much stopped playing right after that lol. Not that I got lazy or anything. I have really good excuses this month. The HEM debacle and the laptop going crazy on me had a lot to do with why only 120k hands this month.

Now that I got my new computer up and running I will keep going at it and try to work on some part of my game this month. I'm gonna post the stats and graph on Stox stat analysis forum and see what Pokey will say about my numbers.

My May goal:
- 120k hands.
- No more than 20 tables.
- Need to work on certain part of my post flop games. Especially value betting.
- at least 15k hands at nl100, depends on my roll.

Note that I took a one hour 12 tables shot at nl100. Up 1.5 bi in 1 hour. Ship it! Watch out poker world, I'm the new Durr, call me Turr!!!